Sunday, January 26, 2014

Beware of silver linings...

      Consider yourself warned, if you do not like the occasional posts that lean toward the soupy,sappy, life revelations, (Dare I say "Aha! Moments"?) and self-validating posts because it's therapeutic and cathartic for the author- please read something else.

*** Life Vent/Ramble/TMI*** Alert

        So I knew "life" details would creep into this blog.   But life is the ying to my creative yang. The last 3 or so years have been about finding that balance of work, play, life, etc., and to say I have learned a lot is a MASSIVE understatement. I had originally quit my job almost 2 years ago to help get our house ready for the market.(FYI- it's sold, life is great- the BIG move into the new house is in a week) It just made sense at the time and it still does. I have embraced something that I never in a million years would have guessed.. being a stay at home wife. Yep- you got that right, "just a wife", we don't even have kids yet, *insert GASP!*. You know what?  I LOVE it. I love knowing that I don't have to log 40 hours at a job I loved, but still caused unbalance in my life and then come home and cook dinner, clean, etc. I love that I can have a clean house despite the cat hair.  I LOVE being home when my husband gets home, before I quit, he was home first. Who cares right? Yeah, well that meant he cooked, and dirtied every dish (bless his heart). I love having the energy to get out of bed at the crack of dawn and cook my non-breakfast eating husband a breakfast on a weekday (sheer madness, I tell ya!), just because I can. It solved so many stresses in my life. If you've ever had a job you absolutely LOVED or even a toxic friend that you didn't have a bad time with per say, but something wasn't quite right. That was my job.
 'Nuf said.

    I worry though, probably too much, over silly stuff.  I have to stop giving a rat's left butt cheek about what other people think about things they have NOTHING to do with.  My husband and I made the choice together.  My husband is a swell guy. He's very traditional but not in a sexist way. We did what was best for us. He just wanted me to be happy, be creative, love life, love him. Happy Wife, Happy Life eh? I love it, I really do, it is my silver lining. With any decision and afterthought, the things that run through my head run the full gamut of quandary.  Have I digressed my female role in the career world because I have willingly embraced the homemaker? My generation was very post-feminine rights. I was strong, I was smart, I could go to college and get a higher education. (whoop-di-do- again- another post- ha!)  How will I ever get another job that rivals the good challenges at previous job?  What if I am unable to tolerate all the other idiots in the world I would be forced to work with and hereby deemed "unemployable".  I have come to the conclusion that if any- the latter point would be the only valid concern. ha ha ha

     Oh and while I have been told it's mostly in my head, this part is very real...Do I get a lot of flack? Yes sir-ree Bob.  Questions range from : Why wouldn't you wanna work and bring home a paycheck, money is always good, right? Are you sick or disabled? What kind of job are you looking for? ARE you looking for a job?  These questions come at me in just basic convo, without even initiating work related chat- must be standard chat fodder. Just basic nosy people asking basic nosy questions for whatever reason.  I am privately thinking... "listen honey- my mother was THE neighborhood gossip, I can see through your delicate lattice of questions." (not that I'm dissin' my ma, she is just one hell of a busy body) Which brings me to another thing, I find that I sometimes don't engage people ENOUGH because my mother was the gossip and I have a tendency to come across as aloof, when really I'm just afraid of being labeled "nosy".

It's a weird world. Everything has a season, everything has a reason.
Where was I? oh yeah...The silver lining of being a SAHW.  Sometimes, if I'm feeling ornery, I tell people I'm a stay at home dog mom. heh heh heh

My point about Silver linings?  Beware of them, sometimes there are traces of lead based paint in those silver linings. But as long as you don't lick them- you're okay.

1 comment:

  1. No nebby Nancy here! It's your life and it's wonderful to have a hubby that can support you both that you don't have to work. I, on the other hand have a hubby who is counting the seconds until he can retire early (cause he hates his job) and I'll be working till I die! I say, you have to find your purpose, in whatever it is!